She's a Malaysian. Tied up. Loves the city and lives in it. Currently looking for a Marketing job in retailing / fashion / accessories. Calls herself a "young adult" 'cos that's what being 20+ means, right? *grin* . Meet Soniaaka PhoEbe.
WISH LIST
- Have another holiday in Australia!
- More mobile phone credits
- A trenchcoat like jacket
- My Delias's wishlist
- MY to come home
- Cushion to hug (big)
- 17" flat screened desktop
This is my blogchalk: Malaysia, Selangor, Petaling jaya, English, Chinese, Sonia, Female, Singing, performing, organising events, catching up with frens, spending time with loved ones, learning, cycling.
Wednesday, March 31, 2004 :::
Keep me in ur prayers, will ya? ^_^
Hmmmm... I, am still feeling a little lost.
Well, you see.. When you are stuck, you tend to feel lost, cos u won't know what to do & u can't really plan for ur next steps. You can only see how things go. Eh?
I was shocked, when Alwin told me this on ICQ yesterday.
t2k: i dont know what you are transforming into
I kinda agree too. I mean, things seem to be serious, but when u look carefully, it isn't that serious afterall. The thing is, there's a fog, it'll appear & disappear as it likes. So what am I supposed to do?? I can't turn left cos I thought I saw a drain there, but not sure how near it is. I can't turn right, I think I'm on the edge of a cliff. I can't go back, I'm supposed to go away from there - supposed to head for home . I also can't walk straight, what if there's a trap awaiting for me? So what can I do? I can only s i t and w a i t. It's not my game now. *LoL*. Business talk: It's like the external macro environment - it's unpredictable & uncontrolable. ArgH... Time to accept the fact that life is gonna be like that for as long as I live... =\\\.
Anyways, life isn't thattt miserable for me (not yet.. =P).. 'Coz I already moaned about it (haha), and accepted the fact that I'd have to make last minute decisions based on situations.
Sure, I don't like it this way, but that's the only option I have now. Life is very complicating, cos we live with (among) humans. And humans are a very complexed species. *sticks tongue out*.. I really have to pray more & spend more time with God. It's sad, huh? We remember God the most when we need the strength and support from Him. *sigh*.. Typical human behaviour.. Haha.. =P. Can u keep me & my loved ones in your prayers too? =)
There really hasn't been much for me to do. Life's becoming quite boring. I mean, I need to go out more! Argh... =P *sigh*
Didn't manage to go for the zone celebration on Saturday. Was a little disappointed. Sunday was Cheng Beng. It's a chinese "tradition", where the family members of the dead would go pay respect to the dead (usually parents / grandparents), and clean up the grave. Surprisingly, my sis. me. and my mum didn't do much this year. We didn't really sweat & got all dirty. Don't know why & how come though. HAhaha.. I couldn't care less, cos I was sooo sleepy! Too tired. Didn't sleep the whole night. During lunch time, we headed to a seafood restaurant as usual. *LoL*. I just ate, without knowing what exactly I was eating. Even if it was really tasty, I didn't know. I was just too tired. HAha.. =p
Anyway, I don't like what I'm feeling now. I feel so weird. Mixture of feelings + so many things. I realised I have so much to think about life. My life. It's like I wana do something, but I can't. I don't have the freedom to, or it's just not time yet. I mean... Arghargharghargh...
The worse part is, I actually feel like moving out??!!!?!??? =\\\. I think it's because I've no say at home, for some reason. I know it's just for the time being, but I really am 22 years old. I need my space. I need a little more freedom. Seriously. I don't really fight for my preferences or rights, if my parents wana keep me in the house etc. I just want them to be happy. And fine. I understand that they as parents, of course would worry more bout their daughter. I really do understand. (I'm a moderate person, ya know? I'm open minded, at the same time I'm conservative). But when it comes to my freedom to do things that I like (Eg: creating a new layout for my blog, learning & studying codes online, catching up with frens whom I lost contact with), to choose where to work at, blablabla... I feel like, it's so hard for me to ask them. I'm afraid that they would say 'no'. And u know parents. A 'no', means no. The children won't usually have any say, after the decision has been made (by parents). Eh?
*sigH*.. All I'm asking for, is more freedom for me to make my own choices and stuff. I hesitate so much, before I ask them bout stuffs OR permission to go out, etc. And I don't like to hesitate so much. I remember being quite a decisive person. And then, I came to realise so many things, that now, I hesitate on many of my decisions or plans. I hate this. It just sux, to be stuck. And when's Meng
I don't wana stay away from my parents actually. It feels a lil bad. =P. I do appreciate them caring for us, our future, etc... But... When are they letting me grow up? By myself. I need to. Don't u think so? =\\.
Just watched Americon Idol's WildCard Special. The TV show's making tonnes of money, I must say. It's starting to get irritating, when they have ads after every TWO contestants! Goodness... MY told me it'll get worse when watching (and waiting for) the results. Sheesh. How annoying do they wana be?
I like Jasmine's voice. She has the kinda voice I admire. Though she picked the wrong song to sing during her last performance (nice in the beginning but not so impressive later on), I say she still has potential. =))
Jon did a good performance. He was so enjoying himself during the show. Haha.. I just liked him so relaxed, and smooth. Hehehe.. ;))
I loved Suzy when she sung I Will Survive. From the slow beat, to a faster beat (main song). The 'transformation' was just lovely (and lively). Heeh! ;D. I ONLY loved the beginning - early middle part though.. =P
For pictures on the blog gathering, do visit Evilzempire's site here.
I seriously forgotten what I wanted to blog about. Hahah.. *sigh*... =P
Didn't do much these few days. Haven't been talking to MY a lot. He has lotsa work to do OR study. =\\. But, I'm happy of course. Cos he's doing his work rite? Haha.. Anyways, talked to him on the phone for quite long yesterday, so... =))))
I just installed Adobe Photoshop 7.0. I'm so glad. XD. Trying to get all the codes, css, html, and layout done. Blogspot doesn't allow us to save images on the server - it's just a place for us to blog. So, I'm thinking of blogging on a website where I can store images & customize my layout better. =))). Still in the process of doing it. HAhah.. God knows when it's presentable. I'm no expert, I'm s l o w , and I wana make it nice (or at least look neat). Don't think it'll be on my own domain though. Will update u guys bout it. =))
Friday Five: When was the last time u..
1. ...went to the doctor?
Last 2 - 3 weeks, I think?
2. ...went to the dentist?
Whoa.. That, was a long time ago! haha.. I can't remember.. =P
3. ...filled your gas tank?
I don't own a car, so... N/A ?
4. ...got enough sleep?
I don't think I've gotten one since a long time ago, may be year 2001?
5. ...backed up your computer?
Since centuries ago. *LoL*. Speaking of it, I ought to do so soon. ;P
BN (Barisan Nasional) won so much, this election! Even the votes in Kelantan are so close to each other. =O. Whoa....
As promised, I shall blog more bout the Blog gathering. You can visit Leech, as she was one of the organiser & she already blogged bout the whole Saturday event. =)
I duwana start all over again, so I'll blog about what I left out. Hehe.. ;P. First, I want to say..... Shannon has such beautiful hair!! Hahahaha.. Can u believe it? His hair is so straight, it looks silky & soft enough. Plus, his hair is layered. I was quite surprised. He must be pretty proud of his hair. Hehehe.. ;)
Next, I wana talk about Lee Cheng. You know, who expected it? Haha.. It was like this. Everyone was talking to various people, joining in this convo and that convo, like usual. Then, we had our "quiet times". LoL. (Means, some ppl will be quiet for a while, etc). At one time.. me, Leech, and Yean Koon wasn't in any of the conversations. So Leech looked at me, and uttered this:
Leech: "So... your voice is better now already..."
(She sounded like she hasn't finished her sentence,
so I continued sipping on my drink, waiting for her to go on) Me: "Mmhmm?" (softly) (She paused. Look at Yean Koon, and then looked back at me.
Then she looked around a bit, and looked back at me - It was all
in a few seconds - I was still looking at her, wondering
what she wanted to say... but that moment, it seemed like
she already finished her sentence.....) "Hmmmmmm... ", I thought.
(Suddenly she spoke),"So..." (And, she paused again,
looking somewhere else. She made me wonder what happened...) (Then, she broke the silence again, by looking back at me & saying):
"So.... Can demo a bit ar?"
*LoL*!!! I thought what was it. She wanted me to sing a bit for her, cos I think she's curious as she havent heard me sing before. Suddenly thoughts rushed into my mind. "She must have expected me to know what she was gona ask".. "She was shy to ask me".. "She was thinking of a productive way to ask me.. "She was waiting for me to say something"... etc. Hahaha!! It was funny! I didn't expect her to continue it with "Can demo a bit ar?". I didn't even expect her to wana hear how I sounded like! HAhaha.. Her actions, her eye contact & the way she said it was funny, to me. ;D
One day lar, Leech. =). I felt awkward there. I was afraid that people would think nonsense like "She thinks she great. Oh please..", OR, "What is she doing? Trying to show off?".. I duno. I mean, it was weird lar. Haha.. Plus, u shocked me. *LoL*.. May be by requesting me to sing a certain song would make me feel less awkward. Hehe.. Duno? U try and see. ;))
Haha.. That was long. Erm, next, Tieng Yee. She ar? *LoL*.. At first, she was quoting someone from the mini booklet. I thought, it's alright, I think everyone would do that once or twice. But, before I left, she went "Don't worry, all of us say the wrong things sometimes". I was like "huh?".. HAhaha.. Apparently, she was quoting everyone form that booklet. Hahahahaha.... She even tried to memorise what did we blog about, which page we all are in, and God knows what else. Hahaha.. This girl. Haha..
Nabila seemed to be quite cheerful for someone who was just being "dumped" by her bf. A nice girl to talk to. =). Choon, Ian, and Leo was talking quite a bit of nonsense that was pretty funny. Haha.. AND... Ian showed us some "porn" on his PDA! =O. I mean, *LOL*.. He even had a video clip of cows trying to mate! Goodness. Hahah...
Everyone there was nice actually. Hehe.. Seems that every gathering I go to, I meet nice ppl. Heheh... =). But I, oh well, didn't talk a lot & was a bit colder this time. Seriously, I don't know why. It's natural, i think. Haha. Cos I tend to be like this sometimes. It does happen. HAha. =P
I had to leave early, cos I had to do some housework. HAha.. My parents would be mad, if I didn't do anything. Met 12 people in total, I think. 5 of them, I've met before. Others all are new faces. =).
Comments reply: Deandra: Haha.. Thanks for inviting & putting effort in organising the event. =) I meant 'my impression will potray someone quite negative' mar. Haha. Don't get the wrong idea, ya? =))
Choon: You are being silly! =P
Ian & Jennifer: Anyong! haha.. (I learnt this from a Korean friend of mine too). I dunno if u, Ian, are a Korean. You tell me. =D. So now, we have TWO shocked ppl knowing that I recognised Ian! Muahahah... =PP
My inner child is ten years old! The adult world is pretty irrelevant to me. Whether I'm off on my bicycle (or pony) exploring, lost in a good book, or giggling with my best friend, I live in a world apart, one full of adventure and wonder and other stuff adults don't understand.
Voting takes no more than 1 minute ;D .. Bloggers' gathering
Hello.
Got up quite early today. Went to vote. It's my first time voting. Good that there wasn't a long queue. *phew*! I could go in straight. Nothing complicating. Just show them my IC (Identification Card), get a number & voting slip. Make a cross using a pencil (provided) beside the party u want to vote for, then place ur slips into the respective "boxes" - for State, and Parliament.
20th March (Saturday), was the blog invasion. I got up late! HAhah.. So reached KLCC at 3.15pm. Ate lunch at bout 3.30pm. *sighz*... =P
Choon told me there was a Malaysian version of friendster. I was like "You mean kawanku.com?". He went "No. It's exactly like friendster. It's at kawanster.com". Hah! *LoL*.. It was a bit funny, but good lar, at least we're trying. Better than not trying to improve at all, yea? ;)
Was shocked that Ian was actually someone I recognised, that was working at a restaurant I visited last June or so. Haha.. He was more shocked than me, of course! =P
Anyway, Leech & Deandra made us a mini booklet! =D. So cute, ya know. Tiny. Ehehe.. Also, they wrapped a small souveniour for all who confirmed their attendace. =D. So nice of them to spend time & effort on doing this for the gathering. =)). Don't worry leech. AHha... I wont throw the booklet away, so.... I wont need to die rite? =P
And argh.. See my info (page in the booklet)? ahha.. My (at that moment) latest entry's so not nice to see. HAhaha.. *sigh*. There goes my first impression (that'll stay 4eva - It's printed!). LOL!
And here's the cover of the mini booklet.
What happened after 5.20pm, i dunno. Hehe.. Cos I cabut aka ciow (went back) already. Btw, I didn't get any stuffs that I really liked a lot from parents. *sobs*. Seems that Bangkok wasn't a good place to shop (price almost the same as here). And it was really hot there. Bout 40 degrees Celcius during the day. =\\.
< edit > I'll talk a bit more bout the gathering later. Right now quite frustrated. It's sooo hot today & my parents room are filled with mosquitoes! *Pulls own hair*.
Argh! I often choose the wrong words to use, say the wrong things to people. Like I said, certain words consists hidden meaning, and I'm so silly to not realise it sometimes! ARGH!!!
I don't like to lie either. I avoid lying, and am always picking the wrong choices of words.
I'malwayscausing troublefor myself. I think I should just s h u t u p . Stop talking to people. Stop making conversations. Stop being so friendly. Stop being so open. Or may be I can try to avoid socializing too much? At least this way, I know I won't be doing any harm. And people can't blame me for anything, IF something goes wrong...
Why is it that I feel that I'm somewhat a failure in life? Was it all just a dream?
Ok. May be not as much guilt. I just don't feel too good about myself. Reason being I'm sometimes just too stupid. I can totally screw things up. Lotsa things. Want some examples? I ask silly questions that people think the answers are just so obvious. I also say the wrong things not knowing that it'll bring certain hidden meanings. I'm sometimes slow.. Can I say that I'm naive? May be I am... I must be.
I just don't understand sometimes. Why must I be so weird in my thinking? Do you know that being weird in ur thinking means that u'll act somewhat differently from others? I can't help it, you know. It's a part of me... I've been trying to cut down on certain stuffs - to think like how others normally do. But it's still a failure. Though I managed to cut down a lillllllllll bit. *sigh*.
Btw, if u were wondering.. No, it's not peer pressure. It's different. It's me. Examples of what I mean by "weird" is in the 2nd paragraph. ;)
I wonder if I'd still have friends at the end of the day. Friends who can stand me when I think so differently. Friends who are patient enough to help me through this. Sometimes I even pity my boyfriend. Oh God... Help me...
Hi all. Can u believe it? For the record, I drove the furthest & for the longest time yesterday! Heheh.. Quick! Clap for me. Hahaha.. ;))
Don't have much to say. Or rather, I've forgotten what, so I'll talk about American Idol instead. Hover ur mouse over the pictures for more descriptions. =)
Meng Yean saw 1 episode in Australia. I think he saw the live version of it. I'm looking forward to watch it tonite. =))). He liked these 2:
I tried to search for Will Hung's & Scooter Girl's (Nicole, is it?) picture, but I couldnt. It's available on www.idolonfox.com > Photos and Videos < section. Find for "Will Hung" + "Audition NYC".
I like the Scooter Girl actually. Quite sad cos she didn't manage to enter the semi-finals. Her voice's great. She knows how to control her voice, etc. Only thing was yea... She was more suitable for "broadway musicals". *sigh*.. Oh well...
About William Hung, American Idol TV Reality Show is inviting him back to perform for the crowd =\\\. I hope they're not gona make fun of him. Cos he just seem so nice & open minded. I'm off to watch American Idol now. =D. Tune into ASTRO Channel 70, fellow Malaysians. ;D
< edit > Why is it that my fonts turn out - f u n n y - ?? Cos I'm not supposed to use much HTML on blogspot?? I mean... :???? What's wrong? It looks quite messy, my entry. I'm not gona do tables (frames) the next time. I'll just make my entry seem longggggggg..... -__-
Me feeling better liowz. But one thing can't be changed --- I'm still stuck.
I can't decide on what actions to take, etc. I've to care bout my feelings + care bout others' feelings too. I know I'm hurting inside, but I can't do as I like. I've to an extend, some resposiblities of my friends' well being, etc. I just feel so "power-less", or rather insecure now. I can't control the situation, and am forced to act without much preparation. I mean..., I'm so STUCK. =\\\.
Anyway, haven't been doing much. Not feeling too well these days. And I'm too broke to go out anyway. So broke till I've to budget the cents I use. Only if everyone understands why I'm hesitating so much recently... =\\\\\.
Ish. And here I go again, I'm sad again. =P. Other than that, hmmm.. *thinks*
Oh yea.. Today in church, I met 2 new people, first timers. The pastor went "Please welcome the 2 new ppl - Daisy & Jacky". People kept looking around, so he said "There, the couple over there". I was apparently sitting next to them, and felt that they seem more like friends. May be the pastor just wanted to use the word "couple", cos may be by saying that, it was easier to identify them. Eh?
After the sermon, I talked to Daisy. Not wanting to embarrass her & the guy (Din wana make them go "nonono.. he's not my boyfriend" kinda thing?), I said this:
Convo #1 Me ; Daisy
"Hi. I'm Sonia. U r?"
"Daisy"
Blablablah "So.... is this ur brother?"
"He's my husband"
( :O , shocked )... "You're married??"
"Yea. There...." (Shows ring) "But.. u look so young. How old are u?"
"28"
( O_O .... =P )
Kelvin came up and talked to me a bit. He also said hi to Daisy & Jacky:
Convo #2 Kelvin ; Me ; Daisy
"Sonia, is this ur collage mate?"
"Erm.. She just registered herself at Sunway Coll" (maybe he thought they were my friends, cos i was sitting beside them + talking to them)
(He turned to Daisy). "Oh. So u just registered at Sunway Coll?"
"Yea."
"Oh. Why? U just finished ur SPM (O levels) or what?"
(Hands put on guys shoulder) "This is my husband"
( Shocked, :OOO .. covers face). Oh man. I feel so embarrased. Man....
(Hahaha... He was more shocked than me. His reaction and all. It was so hilarious!)
As long as you keep the
green-eyed monster in check,
you're a good GF that
most guys would be lucky to snag.
You're fun, smart and sensitive
- a perfect balance.
Guess I'm still sad after all. Despite the fact that I'm quite normal most of the times.. Sad bout many things, not only bout what I'm gona blog about today. Yea.. I'm ok, but not ok. Haha.. =p
Something triggered my mind (Well, I do think a lot! =P).. This time it's about the people u need around u - ur friends...
Sometimes I feel that I seriously haven't had any super good great relationships with anyone. Like I don't have any serious true good friends who are great to shout about. No doubt I've good friends, but sorry to say this peeps. I know this might bring great "disaster", but... I seriously realised that from what I see & experienced till now, yea, we do have great times together too. But, I feel that none of my good friends are willing to sacrifice a lot for me.
I know love is to be patient, to give & sacrifice without wanting to be loved back, or even receiving back any act of love. But I'm not as holy as I want to be. I'm not as tough.. I've already done this for years.. Years of sacrifice, years of caring & saving the friendship. Years of doing things outta my way, just because I want them to be happy.
I try to water the "plant" as often as I can. I thought of letting it die once, or at least see how it'll survive by its own. But at that moment, the plant seemed to blossom a lil. And that became my motivation to care for the plant once more. I decided to save the plant, and sow more seeds.
That's the history. But ok. May be I'm not that "heroin" as mentioned, but I know I've put in a lot of effort and whatever else in it. May be I didn't do a great job in trying to save the friendship. Or may be the way I did it wasn't that appealing. Too many possibilities.
Guess things just can't be forced, huh? 'Cause it might just be that they don't find me such a good friend to treasure. Prolly my qualities aren't enough? I talk too much? I bore them? I'm too picky? I'm not their kind? I duno... But, that's just how things are. Both parties have to make the relationship stronger. Not only one party. It won't work that way. Not in this situation, at least.
I'm really sorry my dear friends, I know this might be very silly to do. But I can't deny my thoughts and feelings. I've been keeping this in me for..... say, a few months? I didn't dare to tell u all, and I still don't dare yet. I don't know how would you feel. I'm afraid that u all would be mad at me, or have different thoughts from me. But I really duwana sound like I care about every little detail that I've done. I seriously didn't mind until *something* happened, and it really made me feel so.... insignificant in ur eyes. And it suddenly made me think of all the stuffs from last time till now. May be all these are just becos I've been thinking too much, may be I didn't see it from a different perspective. Or may be I'm right, but u didn't realise it? I don't know. I didn't ask u.... yet.
I don't know how this will end, but I hope all will be well. Somehow.
I still love you, but may be just not as committed as before. *hugs*. Please, don't get mad at me...
P/S :: God, is really the only one we can rely & depend on 24/7. I really should go to Him more... I should seek my needs & perfectness from Him. I really wana have more passion for God, ya know? =\\.
IMPORTANT / disclaimer :: You should know I do not blog about everything in my weblog. Certain things are not said here. And this entry doesn't contain all that I am thinking about. I do treasure my friends & I am NOT blaming them for anything. Just an entry about my sadness or negativeness, if u like to put it that way..
I don't think the movie "The Passion of The Christ" is gonna be screened in Malaysia. I would assume so, as they also banned "The Prince of Eygypt" a few years ago. *sigh*.. But. Muahahaha! I just watched it just now. =\\. It really reminds us of how suffering it was for Jesus. The crucifixion part was the most brutal part. Plus, how could they (the guards) still laugh when one was suffering & going thru all these punishment, when He hasn't done anything wrong? Goodness.. =\\\\\\\. Here's the link to an interview with Mel Gibson.
About my last blog entry.. I've to add, I do allow my friends to help me and all, but it's more of helping myself now. =). I know what, where & when I fail to be less of a burden / be less annoying, but can't seem to change it, cos it's a part of me which I don't really wana give away. =\\. Oh well, I guess it's a battle within myself, huh? ;)
I'm still considering whether to go for the Blog Invasion. I wana go, but I'm afraid that no one would be there to accompany me or something. What if everyone knows each other, then they'll only be entertaining me. =P. But then, I like to meet new people... Haha.. *sigh*..
Hand holding - you like to be in constant physical contact with your special someone but you don't want to take things too quickly.
Sometimes I just totally dislike myself. Many times actually. I don't wana use the word hate, but it's very near hate okay...
I can be VERY emotional. I mean, when I'm sad lar. I don't have suicidal thoughts, don't hurt myself like I wana die, don't simply go around and scold other innocent people, BUT i can't control my sadness / negativeness. I think more & more, as though it's so exciting to think about all those sad, negative, frustrating stuffs.
But the thing with me is, I don't like my parents to know when I feel sad or anything. Reason being, I'm supposed to be a very tough girl. And I seldom CRY.. I always like to deal with problems by myself. I don't like it when my parents know my problems. May be it's because I'm so used to solving problems my own way without asking for help (UNLESS I have no idea what to do, then I'll ask for a few ppl's opinion)..
Anyway, just to blog, so that I can feel better. I have no one to confide in now. Wana know why??
I'm just too troublesome for ANYone... I always have the thought that NO ONE can stand me. I am SUPER troublesome to handle. Trust me. I think too much, and I'm VERY hard to "pujuk" ('console'). I can bring so much unhappiness to people.
Ok........ That last sentence was the negative words coming out from me again.... As far as I know, I always appear to be a fairly cheerful person (more last time). I still smile or laugh when I'm sad, angry, or any other not happy emotions..
That really was a very bad sign of me getting into my negative thoughts again, and blaming all the fault on myself...
Why is it so that, I feel that this entry is totally personal?
Bleh. Who cares?
...
And I'm hungry................. -___-
...
Anywayyyyyyyyy...... Thank you, blog.
Now, good night world. I'm going to bed soon. I'll end with some quiz result, to cheer u people up. Don't get infected by my unhappiness.. ;D
I thought I did this quiz before, but.. seems like they've made certain changes in this quiz. So there u go, the result.
You are a child's kiss. Completely sweet and innocent and pure. You mean no harm and only love in your sweet kisses. What kind of kiss are you? brought to you by Quizilla
Thanks for saying something to make me feel better - refering to those who commented on my last entry.. =). I was very sad for the first few days especially. Even nearly cried (for a few times)!! =P. Oh well...
I went to MidValley today, with JN to get MS's pressie. Not gona reveal it here, ahha.. Cos... Tomorrow's MS's 21st! =))
I met a weird fella on my way back.. (I took a bus). The reason why I chose to sit beside him, and not the other guy, was because he looked more normal (not like a pervert or a sicko)... And out of my expectations........... The moment I sat down, he tilted his head to my side, and talked softly.. Think he was trying to make a conversation, but the way he did it.. Oh goodness.. Seemed like he wanted to disturb me.... -__- I was like "What the.....", and didn't dare to sit so close to him. I'm sure the lady behind me noticed this man's weird actions and saw the obvious g a p between me & that man..
He looked at me a few times, and I was wondering if he would PURPOSELY come closer to me and touch me or something... O_O .So I was being cautious of him. He indeed IS weird. He made noises the whole bus could hear! Tapped the window, etc.. I'm glad I didn't made face to face contact with him. I just acted as if he was half transparent... =P. When I found the chance, I quickly fled myself from him. Hehehe.. =pp. Sat 2 seats behind him. So tensed sitting next to him! =P. *Phew*! That man talked to a school boy after that, and also made some noises that the whole bus could hear him. Looks, can be VERY deceiving.. That, I knew it long time ago. Haha. Just wanted to stress it again, that's all. ;P
Btw, I took this pic sometime ago. Hehe.. I thought it looked very tempting..
~ It's now one of my h/phone wallpaper. Hehehe...
I'm supposed to be sleeping right now.. So *SHHhh!!*. It's a secret between u & me.. ;D
Realised I didn't blog for a week already. Decided to add a few words here before I get busy / lazy again.. I went to a Karaoke again. Means went for some 'singing session'. This time it was with my family. =)). Long time since that happened. But... the thing is this.
>>> I. am. sad. <<<
My voice totally isn't as good as it used to be... This feeling's not nice to have. Makes me super sad. My first talent to be found is now ruined. And, I have high expectations of it... This feels bad. Real sad case. I feel like giving up the hope of saving my voice, but I just can't yet.... BUT... I'm disappointed. So it can't be hepled. I still have the thoughts of giving it up - by leaving it alone...
See? I told ya I wanted to go for vocal training since 1999.. And now.. There goes my voice. It is becoming less & less powerful OR good OR nice OR whatever... =(((
I can't help it. My voice's really important to me. I told u so. Many times... =((
