She's a Malaysian. Tied up. Loves the city and lives in it. Currently looking for a Marketing job in retailing / fashion / accessories. Calls herself a "young adult" 'cos that's what being 20+ means, right? *grin* . Meet Soniaaka PhoEbe.
WISH LIST
- Have another holiday in Australia!
- More mobile phone credits
- A trenchcoat like jacket
- My Delias's wishlist
- MY to come home
- Cushion to hug (big)
- 17" flat screened desktop
This is my blogchalk: Malaysia, Selangor, Petaling jaya, English, Chinese, Sonia, Female, Singing, performing, organising events, catching up with frens, spending time with loved ones, learning, cycling.
Saturday, March 06, 2004 :::
Blameful side...
Sometimes I just totally dislike myself. Many times actually. I don't wana use the word hate, but it's very near hate okay...
I can be VERY emotional. I mean, when I'm sad lar. I don't have suicidal thoughts, don't hurt myself like I wana die, don't simply go around and scold other innocent people, BUT i can't control my sadness / negativeness. I think more & more, as though it's so exciting to think about all those sad, negative, frustrating stuffs.
But the thing with me is, I don't like my parents to know when I feel sad or anything. Reason being, I'm supposed to be a very tough girl. And I seldom CRY.. I always like to deal with problems by myself. I don't like it when my parents know my problems. May be it's because I'm so used to solving problems my own way without asking for help (UNLESS I have no idea what to do, then I'll ask for a few ppl's opinion)..
Anyway, just to blog, so that I can feel better. I have no one to confide in now. Wana know why??
I'm just too troublesome for ANYone... I always have the thought that NO ONE can stand me. I am SUPER troublesome to handle. Trust me. I think too much, and I'm VERY hard to "pujuk" ('console'). I can bring so much unhappiness to people.
Ok........ That last sentence was the negative words coming out from me again.... As far as I know, I always appear to be a fairly cheerful person (more last time). I still smile or laugh when I'm sad, angry, or any other not happy emotions..
That really was a very bad sign of me getting into my negative thoughts again, and blaming all the fault on myself...
Why is it so that, I feel that this entry is totally personal?
Bleh. Who cares?
...
And I'm hungry................. -___-
...
Anywayyyyyyyyy...... Thank you, blog.
Now, good night world. I'm going to bed soon. I'll end with some quiz result, to cheer u people up. Don't get infected by my unhappiness.. ;D
I thought I did this quiz before, but.. seems like they've made certain changes in this quiz. So there u go, the result.
You are a child's kiss. Completely sweet and innocent and pure. You mean no harm and only love in your sweet kisses. What kind of kiss are you? brought to you by Quizilla
