She's a Malaysian. Tied up. Loves the city and lives in it. Currently looking for a Marketing job in retailing / fashion / accessories. Calls herself a "young adult" 'cos that's what being 20+ means, right? *grin* . Meet Soniaaka PhoEbe.
WISH LIST
- Have another holiday in Australia!
- More mobile phone credits
- A trenchcoat like jacket
- My Delias's wishlist
- MY to come home
- Cushion to hug (big)
- 17" flat screened desktop
This is my blogchalk: Malaysia, Selangor, Petaling jaya, English, Chinese, Sonia, Female, Singing, performing, organising events, catching up with frens, spending time with loved ones, learning, cycling.
Wednesday, July 30, 2003 :::
My care's fake? Or you just can't stand it?
It has been loong since I've talked about something like that. Since "littlefoxden" expired..
I have to express my feelings now... ....
I myself feel that I'm a caring person? And I feel that I sometimes do care a lot for people, eventhough I don't know them well. It was worse earlier on (a few yrs ago). So of course, (logically), I do care more for the people that I'm closer to. ANYway, back to what I've been wondering...
Is it wrong to care for people? Ok.. Wrong choice of words. I mean, why is it that, I feel that when I care for people, they would think that I'm faking that up, for any kindsa reasons (for example, fame, to be called "nice", I'm just a weirdo, she wants something back in return, etc etc).. Why is it that I must be misunderstood?? I sincerely care for u, ok? If u are a friend that knows me well enough, you would know. I care for people sincerely, most of the time ler..
Or... Am I being too sensitive??
No one thinks so about me (fake), but I just feeel that they do. Is it??
But then, I just can feel people talking behind my back, saying "She's trying to be all nice & caring, but in the inside of her, it might mean otherwise (may be they think I've bad intentions or whatever it is. I dunno!)"
Yes. What people think of me do matter! I mean, not all the time (of course), but still, gossips bout me do matter. PLUS, I hate the fact of being misunderstood. I really dislike ppl misunderstanding each other. It's such an unnecessary thing. Just be honest to each other, for goodness sake! =\\\. I'm getting caught up in my emotions. Bleh.
MS, I'll talk to u personally bout 'us'. Been wanting to, for quite some time. ;)). Later, babe. *hugs*
Oh, and guess what? I feel that some people are avoiding me cause.. Argh. I dunno why. Prolly cos they think I'm being fake. But hey! I don't think I care too much (till ppl wana run away & hide).. I feel that my care is just enough as a friend. Or may be some ppl don't want others to care for them, it's not their style, they don't appreciate it. Just because it's their lives. They should be the only ones caring for themselves. Is that it?
See? I don't know what to think right now. Am I really being too sensitive?? *sigh*
I know this is rather vague or too general. But... Why oh why?
I think I should start caring less bout what I think people are talking / feeling about me. I can be wrong & I can't please everyone. Gossips are around every corner of the world. Human's nature, i guess.. Furthermore, I've my own life too.
Is this entry rubbish? =\\
!! Edit -- Added (+)
Of all these years.. I really wana know what are people thinking. What made them think that I'm being fake? What makes them think I want something back in return, or that I'm not real enough? AND, why would they wana think so?? =\
!! Edit
Apparently Swee Yean went to Cameron Highlands with her bf, for her birthday. Lizzie did a "hiatus" layout.
My parents met Aunty Grace in KL yesterday, while me & sis left Swee Yean's pressie at her working place, and headed off to church for the Youth Celebration. Pastor Sivin Kit's quite a fun person. Heeh! I talked to a few people, and wished Crystal a Happy Belated Birthday. Hehe.. Aunt Jolene & Uncle Phua are soo nice. They sent me & sis home. Thank u! =D
The pasar malam (night market) today was great! BUt *sigh*.. We didn't get to buy ALL the food! Boy, I miss those food... The junk / outside food. Hehe.. My sis & I were like drooling over them. Kuih (malay cakes), Indian food (putu mayam, cakes, etc), dim sum, durian, fried chicken, pan cake, pulut (glutinous rice)........ NYUM!! Hehehe..
Went for the healing rally on Wednesday. It was alrite. People got healed. But I wasn't there to witness a lot.. Cos it was late, and I needed to go home. =\\. Which, blah blah blah, my sis & I got scoldings from our parents and lotsa stuff ler.. *sighhhhz*. Anyway, may be Leon could tell u more bout the Healing Rally at Wisma MCA? ;). I feel that he has. ;)
Finally bought a present for Swee Yean today. It's a cute doggie (soft toy). I know it's just for decoration, but she has them all over her car. So I know she can't resist another one! ;D HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Swee Yean !!
I nearly forgotten my previous homepage's URL! Hahah.. Tried for about 10 times! *LoL*. Anyway, I like this page. It might seem a bit childish or something, but the "puppy" there's cute. =D. Turn on your speakers as well. This MIDI (music) is lively & cheerful, to me! =D. Click here for the abandoned yet cute page. ;)))
It's been 3 years since.. ; Slangs ; Cheap ice-cream!
We met up with Aunty Joyce & Travis (my 18 yr old cousin) on Sunday night. They just flew down from London, and they're staying at Prince Hotel for a few days... Before going back to Seremban to stay with my grand Uncle Bentong.
My dad always says that Travis has a strong British accent, which I don't find it true, cos I *do* understand what Travis says.. As usual, Aunt Joyce brought loads of presents down, and we (mainly my mum & another uncle, JW) chose our presents for like.. 2 hours. Hahaha.. And the nice dresses didn't fit me, cos it was a "small" size for the Bristish.. But Asians, we are just of smaller sizes... =\\
Found out from Travis that, I must becareful of my usage of the word "fancy", in the UK. It could pretty much mean "I like you", in my culture (M'sia), which means something like "I've a huge crush on xxx". Thanks for the tip, man. Hehe.. Also, this is common, but "screw", can mean "getting laid", or having sex ler. *LoL*. Culture differs us, and so does our choices of words / slang... Hehehe..
We actually stayed in the Hotel talking till 3am+, and I only got home before 4am! Didn't work on Monday, and I skipped work today as well.. But anyway, I'm still waiting for my field supervisor to ring me. ;))
I hope AF, JN, MS, had a good time at Swenson's today! I wanted to go but.... =\\\. I want ice-cream too! They said it's JUST RM 6.90!
MY's flight left at 8:45pm. I nearly cried when I had to say goodbye to him this evening. I certainly did not expect that. HEhehe.. BUt somehow, I WAS close to tears. Wonder what would happen if I cried. =P
Oh. His mum asked if I was gonna see him off, and I was thinking.. "Despite the nice food that i'll enjoy (Hahaha.. MY said this to me! =p), I'll be in the car later, available for interrogations while they're fetching me back home (after KLIA)". Hahaha... Scared. Not prepared for it yet. Hehe.. Not alone.. =p. But I'm sure there'll be chances later... ;P
Have a safe & comfortable flight back to Aussie, dear! ;))
Was a bit late for cell just now, but hehehe.. They started a little late as well. ;p
As usual, Kelvin asked about our week. I was like planning to talk about Sunway Lagoon, cos i wanted to tell them bout the rates. Hehehe.. But, MY started talking 1st, and he had to talk about Lagoon! So I was like thinking.. "Quick, quick.. what else to share later?".. Hehehe.. Cannot blame me. I mean, it isn't a secret or anything. Don't mind ppl knowing bout us, but, ehheeh.. was shy a bit ler. I mean, I'm sure people suspect something, but....... [ Hehehe.. Nvm. It's quite complicating & yet it's not. =p (!) ]
Anyway, finally remembered about Monday -- we sent Jennifer off to Australia. A weird thing was this: I only shared about the "sending Jenn off" thing, and somehow, it seemed like it was my ONLY thing to share, even tho it was just a small part of my whole week. Hehehehe... =P. So u can say I spared being a lil shy just now. Ekeke..
Hey! Sunway Lagoon is having a promotion till 31st August 2003. All park tickets for the adult is only RM27. Anyway, MY & I went to S.Lagoon yesterday. So we got to spend time together. =). Speaking of which, he's going back this Saturday, and will only be back this December.. Ah well.. Back to the topic, Niagara Falls Flume Ride was closed, so we went for the Rapid River ride, etc. We skipped "Sky Flyer". Crazy. We're not gonna go for a 360 degrees ride. Hehe.. At least I know I'm not prepared to go for one now. And, it's weird. The surf pool (i think), looked like they didn't maintain it properly. It was quite dirty. Seemed like it was left unattended for at least 2 weeks. A bit yucky..
I've to faster finish reading the book "Artemis Fowl". It's quite nice to read. I've read till Chapter 6, where Artemis Fowl the 2nd kidnapped Captain Holly, and the LEPrecons stopped time. Will read Chapter 7 tonight. Gotta finish it by Saturday. Hehehe.. The book is MY's sister's, that's why.
I've not started on the layout idea. LoL. May be next week, I'll think about it. ;p
My PC just had to give me problems in a row. Sent it for repair a few times liow. BIOS, sound card, battery, etc, had prob. That's partly the reason I online less owadays. HEhehe.. Other reasons, simply because I can meet that someone real life now, no need to meet virtually. =P. PLUS, I'll be busy doing something else, like resting & going out. ;P
Thanks all! HEhehe.. Yes, yes. Of course there's still a long way to go. And, no, not really. I didn't think it took forever for us to be together. Hehehe.. I actually wouldn't mind if it was later, just that, it felt like it IS time, that's all. No need to go into details, hor? ;p. Ehehehe.. ;)))
Anyway, hmmmm.. College started. Went for a week's classes. Just only, I finally told my dad, that I'd like to work for a while, before continueing my studies. 6 months. Don't worry, me know what me doing. Hehe.. ;)
Just now.. Youth Celebration was better today, cos I wasn't tired. The topic was more appealing, and Ps. Malcom's speech today seemed more interesting & funny. Hehe.. It was about how to pray correctly & get a "yes" from God - to emphasize on answers (Eg: thanking God), not problems. etc.
Summary About the summary of my week, etc.. MS (a good friend of mine) arrived on the 9th of July, from Russia. She'll be here till August. Met up with her, AF and JN yesterday. Brought my bf out to meet them. Hehehe.. but he WASN'T interrogated. =P. Monita started her work. Part time job. I'll be joining her soon.. ;). Kok Siong's birthday just passed. His 21st. Got him a H/P reload card. My cell leader- Kelvin, confirmed today, that cell will be on every Friday night. But.. Don't think I can make it. BUt then again, who knows? God can make way for me, if He wants to! ;)) MY will be going back to Oz next week. =\\. Gonna miss him, again..
End note Did I leave out anything? Ah, well. IF there are, i will blog about it next time.. Btw, I found that I've less time to read other blog sites already. Guess it's cause of the time I spend onlining. Of course I meant I online less already -lar. Hehehe.. My point is, I just wanted to notify you. Will be catching up with u all on & off. And yes, I mean it. ;) ;P =)
I just got back from PD (Port Dickson). Went there with my family, and coincidently, Wan Kit was there too! With his college friends, I suppose. He saw us, but we didn't see him. Hehehe.. So how I knew? Well, he called me. Thought he was playing a trick on me. But when I asked for details, like which car doors were openned, he got them correct! HEhehe.. Didn't get to meet up with him though. ;)
Why the word "monkey"? =(. Don't like. Why not "As happy as a bird"? Sounds nicer. Don't u think so? ;p. Plus, I love to sing. So why not "bird", right? Or nightingale? Hahaha... =PP
Anyway, Ok. Of course I admit I was happy, when it happened. (Hahaha.. Don't need to elaborate? =p), but sadly, I had no chance to jump up. Seriously! HEhe.. Nevermind loo. As long as we're all happy. ;P
