Wednesday, July 30, 2003 :::  

My care's fake? Or you just can't stand it?

It has been loong since I've talked about something like that. Since "littlefoxden" expired..
I have to express my feelings now... ....

I myself feel that I'm a caring person? And I feel that I sometimes do care a lot for people, eventhough I don't know them well. It was worse earlier on (a few yrs ago). So of course, (logically), I do care more for the people that I'm closer to. ANYway, back to what I've been wondering...

Is it wrong to care for people? Ok.. Wrong choice of words. I mean, why is it that, I feel that when I care for people, they would think that I'm faking that up, for any kindsa reasons (for example, fame, to be called "nice", I'm just a weirdo, she wants something back in return, etc etc).. Why is it that I must be misunderstood?? I sincerely care for u, ok? If u are a friend that knows me well enough, you would know. I care for people sincerely, most of the time ler..

Or... Am I being too sensitive??
No one thinks so about me (fake), but I just feeel that they do. Is it??

But then, I just can feel people talking behind my back, saying "She's trying to be all nice & caring, but in the inside of her, it might mean otherwise (may be they think I've bad intentions or whatever it is. I dunno!)"

Yes. What people think of me do matter! I mean, not all the time (of course), but still, gossips bout me do matter. PLUS, I hate the fact of being misunderstood. I really dislike ppl misunderstanding each other. It's such an unnecessary thing. Just be honest to each other, for goodness sake! =\\\. I'm getting caught up in my emotions. Bleh.

MS, I'll talk to u personally bout 'us'. Been wanting to, for quite some time. ;)). Later, babe. *hugs*

Oh, and guess what? I feel that some people are avoiding me cause.. Argh. I dunno why. Prolly cos they think I'm being fake. But hey! I don't think I care too much (till ppl wana run away & hide).. I feel that my care is just enough as a friend. Or may be some ppl don't want others to care for them, it's not their style, they don't appreciate it. Just because it's their lives. They should be the only ones caring for themselves. Is that it?

See? I don't know what to think right now. Am I really being too sensitive?? *sigh*

I know this is rather vague or too general. But... Why oh why?

I think I should start caring less bout what I think people are talking / feeling about me. I can be wrong & I can't please everyone. Gossips are around every corner of the world. Human's nature, i guess.. Furthermore, I've my own life too.

Is this entry rubbish? =\\

!! Edit -- Added (+)
Of all these years.. I really wana know what are people thinking. What made them think that I'm being fake? What makes them think I want something back in return, or that I'm not real enough? AND, why would they wana think so?? =\
!! Edit

    ::: sonia blogged @ 4:15 PM    - Return to top -

---