She's a Malaysian. Tied up. Loves the city and lives in it. Currently looking for a Marketing job in retailing / fashion / accessories. Calls herself a "young adult" 'cos that's what being 20+ means, right? *grin* . Meet Soniaaka PhoEbe.
WISH LIST
- Have another holiday in Australia!
- More mobile phone credits
- A trenchcoat like jacket
- My Delias's wishlist
- MY to come home
- Cushion to hug (big)
- 17" flat screened desktop
This is my blogchalk: Malaysia, Selangor, Petaling jaya, English, Chinese, Sonia, Female, Singing, performing, organising events, catching up with frens, spending time with loved ones, learning, cycling.
Monday, March 29, 2004 :::
Do u hesitate?
There really hasn't been much for me to do. Life's becoming quite boring. I mean, I need to go out more! Argh... =P *sigh*
Didn't manage to go for the zone celebration on Saturday. Was a little disappointed. Sunday was Cheng Beng. It's a chinese "tradition", where the family members of the dead would go pay respect to the dead (usually parents / grandparents), and clean up the grave. Surprisingly, my sis. me. and my mum didn't do much this year. We didn't really sweat & got all dirty. Don't know why & how come though. HAhaha.. I couldn't care less, cos I was sooo sleepy! Too tired. Didn't sleep the whole night. During lunch time, we headed to a seafood restaurant as usual. *LoL*. I just ate, without knowing what exactly I was eating. Even if it was really tasty, I didn't know. I was just too tired. HAha.. =p
Anyway, I don't like what I'm feeling now. I feel so weird. Mixture of feelings + so many things. I realised I have so much to think about life. My life. It's like I wana do something, but I can't. I don't have the freedom to, or it's just not time yet. I mean... Arghargharghargh...
The worse part is, I actually feel like moving out??!!!?!??? =\\\. I think it's because I've no say at home, for some reason. I know it's just for the time being, but I really am 22 years old. I need my space. I need a little more freedom. Seriously. I don't really fight for my preferences or rights, if my parents wana keep me in the house etc. I just want them to be happy. And fine. I understand that they as parents, of course would worry more bout their daughter. I really do understand. (I'm a moderate person, ya know? I'm open minded, at the same time I'm conservative). But when it comes to my freedom to do things that I like (Eg: creating a new layout for my blog, learning & studying codes online, catching up with frens whom I lost contact with), to choose where to work at, blablabla... I feel like, it's so hard for me to ask them. I'm afraid that they would say 'no'. And u know parents. A 'no', means no. The children won't usually have any say, after the decision has been made (by parents). Eh?
*sigH*.. All I'm asking for, is more freedom for me to make my own choices and stuff. I hesitate so much, before I ask them bout stuffs OR permission to go out, etc. And I don't like to hesitate so much. I remember being quite a decisive person. And then, I came to realise so many things, that now, I hesitate on many of my decisions or plans. I hate this. It just sux, to be stuck. And when's Meng
I don't wana stay away from my parents actually. It feels a lil bad. =P. I do appreciate them caring for us, our future, etc... But... When are they letting me grow up? By myself. I need to. Don't u think so? =\\.
