Wednesday, July 02, 2008 :::  

Testing my patience 

Sigh. This week, she (superior) has tested my patience... She was talking, lecturing, scolding, loudly as usual (for 3 whole days already!). I sorta snapped back (gently) at her twice already. The 2nd time, even though my words were not "attacking" her, it was quite loud. I think the whole office could hear me. =\


I prayed to God to not let me snap at her and just show me the (nice & wise) way to talk to her in ways that she would realise her actions AND not be so mean to me. Sigh. =\


Need to be really careful this week. Seems like she's in bad mood these days.

Labels: anger, annoying, boss, frustrations, God, work

    ::: sonia blogged @ 10:44 PM    - Return to top -

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Friday, September 21, 2007 :::  

Frustrations of Relationships - the real thing 

This is a rather personal entry.


Some couples just fit into each others' lives quite easily. Sure they still need to work on things to be happy, but it's just easier for them to feel SO connected, compared to others. And then, there are others (which I presume are the most of us), who have to work extra hard to finally reach a stage where we think we're ready to commit our lives together for a very long time (I'm talking about marriage for those who don't believe in divorce).


Although MY & I do click, sometimes, I feel that there are still things we need to work on. But by him being far away (and a typical guy from Mars), I find it difficult to be done!! Long story. Sometimes he's so engrossed in his own thing, he unknowingly neglects me. Or may be it's because I'm too nice to him! =P   Anyhoo, it gets so frustrating sometimes! -- [If ur a girl, u can imaging HOW frus it can become! - it's less intense for a guy, i think. Because his mind is simpler in certain ways, especially the emotions part] BTW, can someone gimme a better word for "his mind is simpler"?





I don't know the purpose of this blog entry, but yea, I get so FRUSTRATED sometimes, and I feel like I've given so much! And yet, he fails to do me small favours (or little gestures) to validate his feelings towards me OR show his appreciation for what I gave / my efforts towards our relationship. He doesn't need to measure up to every small little things I did, but I do need reassurance (example: him going outta his way for small (personal) gestures EVERY now and then)!


If u think I didn't already tell him all these, I did~~! As a matter of fact, I directly tell him (I don't hint, I tell it straight to his face, with examples!). I do that on & off (but sometimes he says I repeat them often - seeing that we have been together for some years now. =P)... He's such a stubborn old man! =P


I wish someone told me a long-term relationship wouldn't be so nerve-wrecking! But that's NEVER going to happen. *sobs*. I am trying to constantly remind myself of his need of space (to retreat or whatever), and etc. But why doesn't he remember to gimme the things I said I need and not what he thinks I need???


So much to say. This is just a small fraction of what is on my mind. And since it's late now (and I feel better now, after blogging), I think I can sleep now. ;)

Labels: boyfriend, frustrations, MY, personal, relationships

    ::: sonia blogged @ 4:31 AM    - Return to top -

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Thursday, August 16, 2007 :::  

I wish I could be more optimistic about tomorrow BUT... oh I dunno! ... This feeling, it hurts! 

You have no idea how terrible I feel right now.


Couldn't cry it out because I (am) was not only sad, I was also mad! I have no one to talk to right now. The stupid (situation) & person who caused this is unavailable. I even have a feeling that after my explanation, things would *not* be better. In fact, I would probably feel WORSE because I expect any smart a$$ person who NOW understands my situation (after my explanation) would know what went wrong. AND then appologize to me for being so inconsiderate! -- Not ignore the situation & move on with life like nothing happened!


It is not whether or not that person applogizes. It is whether or not the donkey realises that it was all a MISUNDERSTANDING and feel sorry for what had happened afterwards!


I am sorry, but something inside me died today. I am not sure if u can fix it. But if u try hard enough, i'm certain it'd become alive again. I sure hope u know how much damage u have done today. Although, I dare not expect a lot to happen...

Now u can see why I have difficulties trying to release my tension (by crying).... U can obviously see how sad, disappointed AND mad I am at the same time!


Oh please, God, let me sleep peacefully tonight! Do miracles. Let me sleep in peace..............

Pardon my language today. Although not vulgar, but yea, I sound angry. Not safe for kids below 12 years of age! Heh, still can make (lame) 'jokes'. Whatever.

Labels: anger, frustrations, personal, sad

    ::: sonia blogged @ 5:08 AM    - Return to top -

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